Convert to the Cthulhu Cult!

After much intense study, I have determined that today the stars are right, and that the return of the Great Old Ones is immanent. As for the Ragnarök, I don’t know when that will be, but it doesn’t matter: the Great Old Ones will clearly get here first. All will be destroyed, for we are mere insects compared to these incomprehensible beings, and they regard us no better than the average human regards insects. Thus, I have converted my religion to that of the Cthulhu Cult. In the end, this won’t spare me from their destructive return — it simply means that I’ll get to enjoy some power, prestige, and good times before I too am destroyed at the end of it all. I encourage my former fellow heathens to join me in my conversion instead of attempting a futile resistance. Thus I am using this blog to further the cause of expanding the Cthulhu Cult.

How shall that be done? Though I have converted to the Cthulhu Cult, I still have the skills in poetry and runes that I have acquired, and I feel it best that I use these skills in service of my new masters instead of discarding them. So today I first provide a poetic Call to Cthulhu for those who would honor and serve Him, followed immediately by a rendering of a key phrase in runes that His worshippers may carve as an act of pious devotion which will also add to His power.

Future blog posts will include additional ritual poetry and runes for use by the Cthulhu Cult.

A Call to Cthulhu

This call, as my previous calls, is designed for a group worship context, but like the others, it may be adapted for solo and/or nighttime use by replacing various words (‘we’, ‘our’, and ‘today’ with ‘I’, ‘my’, and ‘tonight’, respectively) without damaging the meter. Like previous calls, it is also in two stanzas of ljóðaháttr, and the stanza break has been omitted.

Hail Cthulhu,
O highest priest
of the glorious Great Old Ones!
Not dead but dreaming,
you’re our dreadful lord,
and now we need you to wake!
Stride to our stead,
for the stars are right,
rising from sunken R’lyeh.
Hear our call
and come today;
bring the end of this age!

Runes for Cthulhu

A key phrase of the Cthulhu Cult is, “Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!” Here I provide a rendering of this phrase in the Anglo-Saxon Northumbrian Fuþorċ with a brief esoteric analysis.

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

The first two runes are Iar, which is obscure, but is usually translated as either serpent, eel, or beaver. Regardless of the exact meaning of the name, the importance of the rune is the same for our purposes, as can be seen from a translation of its stanza in the OERP: “The eel belongs to the river-fish; and yet it always takes its food on land; it has a beautiful dwelling-place, surrounded by water, where it lives in delight.” (Translation from Halsall’s edition of the OERP.) It is thus a rune of transitions between worlds (of land and water, which is quite appropriate here), and is doubled in our key phrase to amplify its reach into the other realm where Cthulhu dreams.

Now for Cthulhu in runes. Esoterically, Calc is Óðrerir, the frenzy-stirrer, and well suited to the madness that Cthulhu is noted for. (It goes without saying that we’re talking myrkstafir here, folks.) Thorn is thursic power, pure and simple. Ur is the beastly might of the aurochs, followed by Lagu, representing the watery deeps that Cthulhu comes from. Hæġl is the hard, impactful hail that comes from heaven, or in this case the otherworldly realms, just as Cthulhu comes from outside our known existence. Then we have another Ur, as if Cthulhu didn’t have enough beastly might already.

Next is Fhtagn. Feoh encourages the pouring forth of our wealth (spiritual or financial) towards the break through of the Hæġl from the other-worldly realm at a time when the stars (represented here by Tir) are right, fueled by the noble faith of the oak (Ac), to alter the destiny of the world through the spear (Gar), in a spirit of need bringing oppression and hardship upon the world (Nyd).

Armed with this analysis, Adepts may more effectively carve these runes to give strength and aid to Cthulhu. The runes may be carved in either wood or stone, but it is most effective if the carving is then submerged into a watery realm so that it may be closer to our High Priest of the Great Old Ones. The exception would be very large carvings in stone which may be kept on the surface to strike terror in the hearts of uncommitted mortals, in the hope that they may consider converting. Extremely dedicated worshippers may wish to get this tattooed in order to invoke the full gnosis of Cthulhu into their very beings — but be warned, the side effects will likely include total insanity.

The material in this post is placed under a Creative Commons license that requires attribution, but allows free distribution and other uses, including derivatives and commercial uses, so that the Cthulhu Cult may expand in glory. I’m not worried about money for this particular post, because, of course, money will be useless when the Great Old Ones take over.

Copyright © 2014 Eirik Westcoat.
Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

3 thoughts on “Convert to the Cthulhu Cult!

  1. Pingback: Oops! There was an Error in the Calculations! | Eirik Westcoat, Skald

  2. Pingback: Et in Arcadia Ego | The Skaldic Eagle

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